Articles
“And You, Fathers…"
Both fathers and mothers play a role in the instruction of their children. Ephesians 6:1 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” In order for children to “obey” then the parents must be teaching. Yet, Paul pointedly instructs in this context that “fathers” are included in this role (6:4).
How many fathers do you know who view themselves merely as bread-winners? They are to provide (1 Timothy 5:8), but their role is far greater than just “bringing home the bacon.” How many fathers do you know who “leave the religion” up to mom while they neglect their children’s spiritual instruction? Mom certainly plays a key role just as Timothy’s mother and grandmother were sources of “genuine faith” to him, but dad must be involved too (cp. 2 Timothy 1:5). Ephesians 6:1-4, then, is instructive to those today with these mentalities. Carefully consider what Paul says phrase by phrase in verse four.
“And you, fathers…” Paul gets very direct with his audience in this remark. It is not just the “mothers” who are involved in child-rearing, but the “fathers” too! Dads need to listen to what the inspired apostle has to say in this directive. Fathers are not off the hook when it comes to child-rearing.
“do not provoke your children to wrath…” Fathers can be an irritant to their own children. They actually can, by their actions, bring anger and enrage and discourage their own children. Jacob did so by showing partiality to Joseph (Genesis 37:3-4). Eli was negligent in the discipline of his sons (1 Samuel 3:13). In Paul’s letter to the Colossians, he connects the thought of “provoking” our children to “discouraging” them. Hypocrisy, harshness, and hurtful actions can discourage. We cannot treat our children the same way we treat an adult employee or co-worker. They need our gentleness, kindness, and patience as they are molded into mature adults. So, are your actions leading your children closer to the Lord and His goodness or further away?
“but bring them up in the training…” Fathers are involved in the “training” of their own children. Psalm 127:4 compares our children to “arrows in the hand of a warrior” and arrows must be aimed in the right direction. Psalm 128:3 compares our children to “olive plants all around your table” and plants must be pruned and fertilized to be productive. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go....” Not all children are meant to “go” in the same direction. Fathers must become acquainted with the unique disposition, abilities, and talents of their own children and “train them up” to head in a direction suitable for their character.
“and admonition…” Strong’s says the word “admonition” refers to “mild rebuke or warning.” We are not just our kids’ friends. Fathers cannot just approve of anything and everything our children do. Sometimes children need corrected, rebuked, and warned. They need to hear of the consequences of ungodly and unwise choices. They do not just need buddies, they need boundaries. Tough love is often necessary and fathers need to be equally involved in such love-motivated warnings to their own children.
“of the Lord…” We are not training according to the world’s philosophy, but in the Lord’s ways. The most important training we do is not in the schoolroom, on the sports field, or in the music class. The most important people in our children’s lives are not their professors, coaches, or directors. Instead, the most vital “Master” they might ever follow is the Lord of all. Thus, our greatest goal and highest ideal as fathers is to encourage our children to seek to live and be instructed by the standards of the Lord. We find those standards in the word of God (2 Timothy 3:16-17). Is the word of God a regular part of your training?
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: 3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:1-4, NKJV).
